Apologise, but whats the point of dating anymore you the
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Go to Page Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. The way I see it, theres really no point in dating. A girl can dump a guy anytime she wants, join a dating site and have hundreds of guys asking her out. Men don't really have much value anymore.
Some forums can only be seen by registered members. I had a revelation today: in today's dating society, there's no point in even trying. I strongly believe that women have it far easier and have all of the power and that nothing can ever be truly equal in this situation. Here's what led to me to this belief: There's this girl that I know that I hung out with occasionally. I suspected that she might have had a crush on me though I do not know for sure.
I was not interested in her because she was honestly just not very nice very rude and sarcastic. We got drunk one night and got into an argument.
#10 Men don't ask women on dates anymore
I said some things that I probably shouldn't have. She got upset and started crying. The next day, I tried to apologize and actually made it worse, causing her to cry again. Anyway, she wouldn't talk to me for about a month and a half. She started dating a new guy that she met online that is exactly her type. She was online for maybe a day or so before she met him. It's like she created him in a machine or something like the movie Weird Science.
Now he's her boyfriend. This got me thinking: she has a lot of issues as do I. However, she did not have to change herself at all and was still able to get the guy of her dreams. She does not have many friends and is not a social person. I, however, have to change myself significantly if I want to get the girl of my dreams.
I will have to be in extremely good shape, have to be social and never negative about anything, have to have a ton of interests, good job, increase my height, etc. Meanwhile, she changed literally nothing not even her attitude. How is this fair? What's the point of even trying anymore when women can literally have everything they want with absolutely no effort?
Anybody have a time machine to bring me back to a time when men were privileged in society? By then when women actually have to try, your not as interested since they don't look as good.
With the internet it has stacked the game vs men even more because women can get tons of male attention via social media and OLD.
Lol well, as many of the men your dating are acting this way,and they themselves are in their 30's or late 20's, then I'd say it's definitely your area more than the gender that's to blame. Men who would do this on dates (at least the point of your post) sound like children to me.
Hmm, waiting to be asked out again or do it myself? Well, as a guy who usually does the approaching it was quite flattering to be asked out first time ever! In my twenties women who weren't interested in your advances would mostly let you down gently whereas women nowadays, especially if in a group seem to delight in rejecting men in the most embarrassing way possible.
Its certainly not all or nothing. I bought dinners and gifts for no special occasion for my last boyfriend. In fact, I paid for one of our first dates!
I promise, all women are not like that, or most even. Keep dating and be thankful that woman showed you who she was early on. Question: will you be waiting to be asked out again, or will you be doing the asking now?
Thank you for responding, Elaine.
While I have never been affected negatively at a personal level by expressing interest in a woman I find attractive I've never been on a date because I've never asked a woman outI have heard this happens a lot from friends and others.
I wish I could find the elusive 'good woman' you refer to, but am almost certain it will never happen. I believe what you're saying, but it's so hard. Because women outnumber men, therefore having a hard time finding a good man, it's hard to believe that men have that same struggle. But too many men say it for it not to be true. Sad times we're living in. Thanks for the comment. You certainly make several good points.
Things may not differ as much as you think from Norway to the US, the article is based on how things used to be. The problem here now is that some men have become bitter because of the way things used to be. And now when women make too many first moves, it sets the pace for the developing relationship and that can ultimately be emasculating for a man. Those are my thoughts Thank you so much for posting and your input! I am a woman, but I am just thinking loud on behalf of the men here.
If I was expected to initiate every single date I went on, and even pay for every expense gifts and all then all these dates, that may or may not turn out well, it would end up being quite costly to maintain, right? I do support the idea of showing a clear initiative, maybe pick up the phone instead of text, plan the date a bit in advance. On that note, I think the initiative could also be made by women? I would not need my dates to take place at expensive dining places.
What about preparing an inexpensive homemade meal? Meeting at a quiet cafe? Going for a swim in the summer? As long as you want to do it together, is that not the point? I think dates should be about getting to know each other, and show some genuine interest in the person you asked out, no matter who made the initiative. I am older than my BF and I say to him, you cvould go out with women younger than me and he just laughs.
He says you look at a woman the wrong way and you are supposedly raping them, gone are the days he says when you send over a drink because most probably she will come over and pour it over you. It may have to do with where we commonly go to meet guys; instead of the club or a bar, may the book store, for example If I date i want to date,not be treated like an object. Guys nowadays do way less and expect way more.
Most men ask for sex on the first date. For all the talk about men wanting love, many prioritize the sex! I've maybe had one guy, just one, who put sex on hold to get to know women. Okay, before I laugh at that last line, let me comment on your perspective. I don't doubt what you're saying but I certainly find it startling. But, surely for every woman you've discovered like the one you characterized, there MUST be at least three who are interested in having a guy like you take them out.
That whole scenario I find sad and disturbing. Maybe search in a better pool of women I suggest. The one thing I find is that it seems women don't know how to be courted this way anymore.
I'm 33 and all of your stuff seems normal for a date, but women just arent into one on one dates anymore. At least not from the outset. I brought a flower on a date before. My date awkwardly accepted it but later told her friend, whom I work with, that "he gave me a flower thinking I'd sleep with him on the first date". That was not even my intention at all. Sleeping together wasn't even on my mind.
Unfortunately, going on a one on one first date makes women think you're trying to get "laid" the same night. Seems women today dont even want one-on-one dates. They want group dates. They dont want the "gentlemen" experience either. They want to be friends with the guy first. They want the ektaparksville.com and have fun experience, not necessarily the one on one dating experience with a true gentleman.
To put it into perspective, this is also the generation that wears pajamas as outerwear I read this list and the last one about men being sensitive is not the issue. The fact is no guy wants to jump through hoops and so forth. I haven't dated since and I refuse to date western society women.
The fact it's become work and really unpleasant. Thank you for the post. I miss the old dating scene and real dates too. I guess I'm expected to just hang out for what seems like an endless time and impress the guy while he makes no effort. This I won't do. This new style of dating is too exhausting. Well, I neither drink nor smoke, and I do not go to bars or clubs. Loud music gives me a headache and I much prefer hunting, fishing, hiking or putting in my normal 16 hour work day. Most of these "tips" are amusing, but not much else.
Thank you so much for your post. Yes, it was long, but well worth the read. I hope you continue to work on your confidence and get out in search for love more often. Your intelligence and kind heart convince me you deserve it. It feels like your confidence is a mirror, and someone is throwing stones at it all day long!
I'm a mids old male, and have currently been single my whole life. I'd have to say that after reading a lot of comments in this article, I was somewhat surprised, but not entirely, at the anger and bitterness expressed by many men, or women, and various other reactions. I myself have been a victim of having been "played around with" by women and once, even lost a close male friend because of a Greek tragedy style adventure I have also been rejected several times, but the problem with the pain associated with the rejection was the lack of clarity beforehand, or "friendship treason".
10 Things Men Don't Do While Dating Anymore
I have already handled a straight forward rejection with a friend whom I fell in love with 1 year after knowing her, and have remained close friends as it was handled properly. Partly to blame, maybe, is a chronic mental disease that I was carrying around with me for 8 or 9 years un-diagnosed, as well as my field of education and work STEM, male dominated area.
Now that I've finished with my education, and have gone into a line of work I enjoy, as well as had my underlying medical condition diagnosed and under control, I do feel more comfortable with myself, but I have to watch my stress levels and deal with paying the bills and living life on a regular basis - it leaves you little time with to invest into dating.
One of the problems with modern day society is that it's incredibly competitive more so when you have to deal with lifelong, chronic mental disease, which is a rising issue in the western world - I manage to make the ends meet somehow and do have a stable life at the moment.
Men and women are under so much pressure, especially the younger people today who are just beginning their careers! In my case, I know there is a non-negligible chance that stress could send me back to a psychiatric ward.
This does lead me to speculate about stress levels involved when an intimate relationship ends poorly - I must avoid things like that which may trigger the condition to reassert itself, even though medication! And as much as I hate to admit it, for some women, mental disease is a big no-go. To be honest, I've somewhat given up on actively searching for any sort of intimate, romantic relationship, though rarely a do have a day or so when I change my mind.
I'm the only person in my friends group that hasn't ever had any sort of relationship, short of just being a doormat or the very temporary rebound guy - ever though I have learned to stop that happening. I am working on confidence as well. I don't however generalize women as one whole group of mean persons and am aware that maybe of just had a couple of bad experiences. To further this point, I consider myself lucky, that I have many friends, both male and female, and do appreciate that many of these friendships are of a relatively deep level, and I do go above and beyond the call of duty when I can for my friends, so I am not alone.
It does give me some sense of purpose and intimacy which is somewhat fulfilling. The major problem I believe in today's society contempt for romance or rather, the trend in that direction neither completely stems from women nor men. It's more of a deep-rooted societal crisis, which I believe, is caused in part by BOTH men and women, mainly by what I see as a lack of maturity, in today's ever more consumerist and narcissistic and "laissez-faire, everything goes!
And on top of that, there is some institutional bias which helps neither side pay gaps, gender issues in professional environments All of these evolving social phenomena have completely trashed standard, classical social norms of society, intimate relationships included, and we are lost in a sea of self-doubt, division, and growing hatred of one another.
There is no single fault or cause, except for society as a whole organism. Of course not every human is like this, but it is a growing problem. Social Darwinism on a great scale will take its course: if men and women no longer fall in love and under a societal model, and if society fails to correct itself, then the society will eventually fall apart or become so dysfunctional very extreme auto-corrective measures eg war or dystopia will be taken.
Otherwise things may fall back into order. Most of these have to do with the fact that these gestures are not necessary, and will either be used up on women who are playing a numbers game, or are not actually interested in dating more than casually. If you transported a guy who did all of these things from the 's, he would get chewed up and spit out by the dating scene today.
Men don't have endless resources for game-playing. They see guys being successful at wooing women with Skittles, so they woo women with Skittles. Women have become desperate, therefore tainted the dating pool.
It's good to know there are guys out there still waiting on a good woman and willing to truly love her. I'm laughing at some of what you said, but you certainly have some golden nuggets in here. Yes, women have a bad habit myself included of trying to turn a man into what we want.
None of us are perfect, we just have to hook up with someone whose faults we can live with it and find someone who can live with our's. We can't turn back the clock, you're right about that. And honestly, we shouldn't want to but it's difficult watching things change so drastically.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts! Most of us guys don't want to be fixed, molded nor changed. I hear it from female friends, family members and coworkers. That is a huge problem for us guys! I would think that any woman wouldn't appreciate it if every guy was pushing openly or softly to change? I can hear the yelling now and see the eye stare burning into any guy that would go there.
Yet women routinely will do this to guys. No one should like to have someone tell them how to be, what to eat, wear, etc. That's wrong on a human level. As for buying a woman a drink, that's up to the individual guy. I stopped that long ago. Many women expect it and don't appreciate it but will get frustrated when it is not automatically given. Most of us guys are not women haters anymore than I think most women are not men haters.
Social norms have changed. Women wore dresses that covered them from neck to toes. It was not-womanly to show ankles nor legs. Thankfully we have progressed. Women's place was in the home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the men when they got home from work. Do we want to go back to that? I can hear my mother, sister and females everywhere cursing and ready to fight not to go back to that! In our current day society, most everyone has to produce an income on their own. Single, married, living together.
One income is not even close to live off of unless you're ok being either homeless or one paycheck away from homeless. Women and men can perform any job that is available. Doctor, fire person, police, construction, engineer, politician, CEO, sales leader. Any job, any career opportunities are able to be performed by both genders.
Some tasks may be performed better by one or the other. A guy working a physical job such as carrying office furniture may be able to carry more weight but there are hand trucks, wheeled pallets to help as well.
Feminism is what it is. Both positive and negative.
The economics of many western countries is what it is. Also both positive and negative. We can not turn back time. Men nor Women can cherry pick what they want to keep and what the want to bring back in today's time. We keep trying, hoping, praying, blogging but it can't be done or it would have been by now. Take care of yourself. Help to take care of your family members.
Each of us can have a fulfilling live if we could focus on less and put more of our energies in a few priorities. Yes, I agree. It is sad that many women are as you've described. But I believe that there are plenty of good ones out there too. You just have to know where to find them.
It is very unfortunate that the women of today have really changed for the worst of all too since they certainly have no respect for many of us good men these days at all.
Very troubled women nowadays that are everywhere now with a rotten personality to go along with it. Very difficult for many of us men trying to start a conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet since most of these women are so very extremely dangerous nowadays. And there are many of us good men that would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect which they just don't give us men a chance at all which very much explains why many of us men are still single today.
Women are quite different today from the past since most of the women years ago were the very complete opposite of what these women are today since most of them now are just so very horrible to meet now altogether.
I am very shocked how the women of today really are now especially with all of these reality TV shows that they have on as well as social media that has really corrupted many of the women of today since it is all about them now as well unfortunately. It is very obvious to me that many of us men are just too good for these type of women anyway since many of us men have been hurt very badly already at one time having our wife cheating on us.
And many of us men were the very faithful ones from the very beginning to the very end when we were married at one time. I am so serious when I ask this question: where in the world are you and obviously many others who've posted here finding these horrible women that you describe?
Whats the point of dating anymore
Seriously, where? I know there are some bad choices for women, as well as there are for men. I realize that I am from a much earlier generation but even the younger women that I know, just don't behave in this manner. But you mention these women as if that is all you're finding out there. That is startling to me. I seriously hope you answer the question. BTW, thanks for the comment.
Thank you for your comment. I hope it's not lost in the heaping pile of the other comments.
Your tone and words is greatly appreciated. Most of the men posting here consider themselves good, polite men, but at the same time consider interacting with women a business transaction.
So your goodness is merely a mask to your desire to get a 'good deal' basically using a woman. Humans use tools to achieve an end. Men expect women to be tools, like hammers. We are not. We are warm, loving, and passionate and loyal to a man that we can get behind. A relationship is a type of SHIP. It's a team effort to achieve a shared vision of life. It's more than the tit for tat that people see in today's expectations. Feminism is not same great evil that is receiving its comeuppances.
Women enjoying themselves and basking in freedoms that their grandmothers never conceived of is not the end of humanity.
It shouldn't be. Also under the impression that 'evil women' is just another vague 'they' accusation. There might be changes underfoot in dating, successful women might be choosy, individual nice guys might experience rejection that they don't underweand- but 'they' or evil women are probably not the sole cause.
As individuals, we are each the authors of our own reality. For all of us who failed to secure a faithful partner or even a fulfilling dating, we just have to accept responsibility for our state. Nobody else is to blame.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by, what do women do in dating. Do you mean what is our responsibility on the date? If that is, in fact, what you mean, equally, it's both the man and woman's responsibility to get to know the other person while on the date.
Are you asking what is it that she takes the lead on? If so, men in my opinion and how I was taught and raised are supposed to lead. Again, not sure if I understand your question.
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Elaine Flowers more. Here is a countdown of things men don't bother with anymore:. Why Don't They? Questions must be on-topic, written with proper grammar usage, and understandable to a wide audience. Men aren't being lazy or scared - we've gotten smarter. You obviously got it right, sis. Look at all these men crying in the comments lol. I used to do all the things on this list.
It's probably why I've been single all these years. Stupid, outdated, double standards that should have died out thirty years ago. Men don't ask in advance anymore. The s? How dare he think he can buy your love!
Men Don't Buy Drinks Anymore Given the constant add bombardment that he will give you a roofie, is it any wonder that men don't want to be blamed for your poor choices? Men Don't Make Phone Calls.
Mar 22, I had a revelation today: in today's dating society, there's no point in even trying. I strongly believe that women have it far easier and have all of the power and that nothing can ever be truly equal in this situation. Feb 14, The way I see it, theres really no point in dating. A girl can dump a guy anytime she wants, join a dating site and have hundreds of guys asking her out. Men don't really have much value anymore. I've given dating my best shot for several years but I have to admit that I'm really fed up with it at this point. It's the most messed up thing I've ever encountered. It's not that I haven't tried or that I'm too picky in my search, it's just that the guys I meet .
Sweetie, only OLD people like me make phone calls, or calls to emergency services. RubyRedRR "A lot of them won't even talk to women, much less ask us out. If you're expecting him to do all those things you're going to be disappointed.
A lot of them won't even talk to women, much less ask us out. My campus is starting to look like it's an all girl school. From this site He won't leave 7. He invites you to meet his parents on the first three dates- 9. He tells you he loves you before your third date One of his hands is always in his pocket.
Therefore women can no longer cherry pick or expect men to play by traditional rules. I find that women are more open to "hanging out" than a serious date. I agree here, I don't fall in this trend however. Not really the dancing type. I think both men and women could improve here. Refer to Maybe we do2 not care where we go. Maybe we just want to make you happy. What is this the 50s? Refer to 6 4. You have a job, right?
You can dial a phone right? Why bother.
Reasons to Remain Single
I can easily find a date for the night, then never see her again. JJ, One this is for sure, something different needs to be done when it comes to men and women getting together. As a guy I'm expected to be the one who asks I'd rather go to the dentist for an unneeded root canal All for the privilege of being interviewed like a candidate for a job with way way way too many applications.
Any man with self respect will quickly decide this just isn't worth it. It actually women who date less but still have a multitude of sexual partner's. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. Search this Thread Advanced Search. Similar Threads Young men dating older women -whats the appeal?
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