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A privilege. Your scooped-out bread ball with low-fat cream cheese is offensive to me. Please know I'm going to bitch my way through anything that's not large and smelly in the best way possible. She's not fuxing around with kugel. Or brisket.
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Or latkes or matzo ball soup. Jewish food is delicious when done right and, again, by "right" I mean exactly the way it was prepared for me each holiday growing up.
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I'm big on tradition. And food. I take these things seriously.
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You might not want to talk to my mom that much, but if you want to ride with me, you're going to have to. Jewish girls love their mothers. Mothers are their families. Families are really important to Jewish people, they just are.
Even if you never met before you started dating, she probably knows at least two people in your life. It's called Jewish geography and it's the world's greatest ice breaker. It's a result of years of killing it on the bar mitzvah, camp, and college circuits.
You wanna party but won't know anyone there? Bring me along.
What we lack in naturally skinny thighs, we make up for in effort and abusing your Amex to physically enhance ourselves.
Yes, you may be better at the stock market than she is Bull and bear what? Because she can, and she'll ensure you're drinking Manischewitz with the new Jews before you've even noticed his oversized Chai necklace.
If it weren't for her, you would have literally no friends.
Know that if you get divorced God forbi they all side with her. In the same way as your mom made it abundantly clear you were attractive, smart and adorable, your wife will be sure to pour as much love and devotion onto your sons. And not many people do, so you should really be grateful that she laughs at your jokes, despite having heard them a hundred times, and understands all your cultural references.
Your suits are always magically dry cleaned, your Ralph Lauren socks folded into balls and put away, your shirts wrinkle-free and freshly starched. OK, she may not actually do it herself. But she ensures it all runs smoothly, and it's not something you ever need to think about. Again, she may not be the one personally plumping the cushions and sweeping under the bed. But this has significant advantages for you because family gatherings are a huge, fun affair where both your families come together regularly.
She creates a warm family environment where your family is always more than welcome to hang out, and you love her for it.
In Judaism, the bloodline follows the mother. By virtue of you marrying and procreating with her, you are contributing to expanding the Jewish religion. Given that there are only By Charlotte Phillips. After the long, tiring emotional roller coaster of divorce, it's time to get back up on your feet.
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I apologise, but, in my opinion, it is obvious.04.02.2020|Reply