Consider, that having high standards dating with
Posted in Dating
I have a friend. Ashley is 32, well-educated, smart, attractive, and a good person. Years ago Ashley met David through a mutual friend. David is a physician, nice-looking, cultured, and has an outgoing, life-of-the-party personality. He was just her type. However, he lived in another state. Later, he contacted her, and they began dating.
We're talking about deal breakers like "wears scarves" and "laughs weirdly" or other small things that other people might argue against pretty easily. It's easy to understand why something that annoys you about people might be extra annoying if it was paired with someone that you didn't like for real reasons, but would you really want one of those deal breakers to get in the way of someone you'd like otherwise?
Maybe there's a guy so awesome and funny that you shock yourself and start thinking his scarf is cute. You won't know until you know, but in the meantime, it's a good idea not to overly limit yourself. People who are really ready for relationships tend to focus on the bigger stuff that actually had to do with quality of life.
If people are pointing out that you're too picky all the time, then the truth is that they might be on to something. They wouldn't say it if they didn't think it.
You on the other hand probably think that other people are way too loose with their standards and that they spend time with the wrong people. Who's having a better time?
It might depend, but when you really think about it, there's nothing wrong with dating even if you aren't actually into all the people. Meeting people can still be interesting and fun and it doesn't have to take anything away from you or make you feel threatened. You won't accidentally end up in a relationship with someone that you don't like, so what's the worst that could happen on a totally normal date if you just simply aren't interested? People who point out that you're too picky are noticing that there are more people out there that they think you might enjoy then you currently are.
It's totally understandable why you might not want to date certain types of men too far outside of your comfort level, but you can't necessarily determine that by their job title alone.
Having high standards dating
Judging someone by their title is particularly a problem on dating sites where it's one of the only things listed. It's easy to swipe on by without a second thought. Of course, even if he is exactly what he says he is that doesn't mean that he won't have every quality that you're looking for in a real relationship.
Would you really want to pass up the nicest guy in the world just because he's currently in a job position that you wouldn't choose for yourself? Probably not.
What Does it Mean to Have High Standards in Dating?
You might as well get to know someone and see. No one wants to be hounded right off the bat and it's weird when guys are too clingy, but if you dislike it when people express interest or text you too fast, then you might be too picky. Your pickiness is extended into anyone that likes you because on some level you're trying to make it impossible for anything to work out between you and someone else. You certainly won't like everyone that likes you but to ever have something real there will be a mutual like thing happening.
If you don't seem to be available for that portion maybe you're just not available for any type of relationship at the moment at all. That's okay, but it's a good thing to know so you can stop dating or worrying about why you're single.
Aug 22, Having high standards is not gender related. It does not only apply to 'high maintenance' women, but rather, it's a gender-neutral concept. Guys have their preferences, as do girls. Women. Aug 29, Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. People often think having high standards means being picky, but it really means being discriminating. I've found that one reason many women struggle in dating is that they are too picky, and not discriminating enough. Sep 20, Having high standards leads to better relationships According to a study from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin on American marriages, having high standards can lead to better, more satisfying marriages-but only if your significant other can actually live up to them. Having high standards led couples to 'up their game' so to.
It's almost impossible not to compare new people to our exes, but if you're holding your former flame up on a pedestal and measuring everyone up against him, then you might be too picky. The ex probably wasn't as a great as you think he was since you're no longer together, but for some reason, he feels like a safe measurement tool in your mind.
You had him and now everyone has to be even better than him in some way to even get your attention. You shouldn't expect to downgrade but people are so vastly different that it's hard to compare certain elements of personalities or lives. Doing it can just cause issues. If you've already decided that your ex is the greatest man on earth then it doesn't leave you much room to get to know people or let them in now does it.
This tactic is just another way to make it impossible for things to work out.
r/dating: A sub to discuss and vent about the dating process and learn from the experiences of others. Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. log in sign up. User account menu Having high standards? Question. May 13, If you look back at your dating life and can tell where you should have been a little more open with people, then that's a good sign that your standards are too high. It's natural for relationships not to work out some of the time, and sometimes that includes some regret. Dec 22, When it comes to our dating standards, we tend to ask for a lot. However, to be more attractive to guys, we need to know our non-negotiables and deal breakers. Why Having .
It's okay to have a type When people date clones over and over again, that means that you might be scared of being with someone who doesn't look like all of your ex-boyfriends. This begins with how you want to be treated, and conveying that in a low pressure, way through your actions, and by how you express yourself. When you are clear on these, in order for the quality man to respect them, and see you as high-value, it's essential you embody these during your communication.
It means, not "rewarding" behavior and actions that don't meet your standards. Rewarding looks like, ignoring, dismissing, justifying the actions and behaviors, which are not okay with you.
Here are a few shared qualities high-value men or the nice guys with "edge" have, which inspire attraction in women. As a reminder, looks, wealth, and career success have some importance but don't sustain deep attraction and connection alone. These will support you to decide, what behaviors are not OK for you when you're dating and in a relationship with a man. He has a plan and goals in life and applies this to dating.
He knows what he is looking for in a relationship, why he wants it, has a vision about what it will look and feel like, and takes consistent action to attract it with class, quiet confidence, and style.
He is honest and respectful of the people in his life, even it means someone may be upset with him. He understands that being upfront and reliable is more respectful and expects it himself.
In dating, he is upfront about whether he is looking for casual dating or for a relationship. If the woman he is dating is looking for a relationship and he is not, he has the integrity not to mislead her and lets her go before intimacy. He has a genuine spirit of generosity with his time, energy and understands that dating means paying for his date for the first few dates at least. If he hates his job, he doesn't focus on that, he finds enjoyment in this passions and works towards changing their circumstances.
He can manage and handle the busy-ness with low drama. He does what he says he'll do and means what he says. He doesn't make excuses or have a victim mentality.
There are experiences to be had, connections to be made and lessons to be learned before settling down with someone. Among these lessons and experiences, you will gradually develop your standards.
It doesn't make you shallow or self-involved to hold onto standards and preferences. It makes you responsible because you understand that not everyone you meet is going to be the right fit for a relationship. We regard negative qualities as unacceptable in the relationship that they are revealed, yet, we tend to disregard the presence of those qualities in the next relationship. Why wouldn't you want to find yourself becoming more responsible and mature?
I, however, will admit to being guilty of settling for the same type of people over and over again with a completely conscious awareness of it.
What I am unsure of is my reasoning for it.
1. He is proactive, not reactive.
Maybe I convinced myself that because it was a new guy, I could deal with the qualities that I had already been exposed to. I look back at the relationship now, and I was making excuses for someone who was just being his self, when I was the one who should have been confronting the qualities I didn't like. Of course, it turned out that I couldn't deal with it.
Learn to stop looking for punishment and basking in misery by reverting to the same types of people. You should never judge a person by the company they keep, but family is a different story.
Jealousy is sure way to destroy any relationship.
20 vs 1: Speed Dating 20 Guys - Jubilee x Solfa
If you see that your significant other becomes easily jealous when you talk to certain people, or spend time with certain people, run.
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