Agree with dating someone with dissociative identity disorder question
Posted in Dating
We know you have them. Please know it is OK to ask. We want you to ask. We want to talk about our experiences, and we have questions too. Once we learned the things I complained about were actually symptoms of an underlying condition - one that was complicated and uncommon - it was hard to find someone to trade stories with. It has been hard to find other significant others and there are times I have felt isolated from friends and family.
We beg of you to not judge them or the things their alters say or do. Please have compassion and be forgiving.
Know this is not a choice any more than it is a choice to be diagnosed with any physical illness. They each have specialized knowledge and experiences, and when they work together they can accomplish some really amazing things.
We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here. Join Us. You can also browse from over health conditions. Submit a Story. Join Us Log In. Dissociative Identity Disorder. We want to answer your questions. We get lonely. We stay because we love. Want the best Mighty stories emailed to you? To some you're a nuisance; to some a playmate. To others you're a stranger, or even a threat. And it isn't as though you can choose who you interact with or, as in my case, even expect the courtesy of knowing who you're dealing with at any given moment.
Intimate relationships are difficult enough without that degree of ambiguity and inconsistency. Love cannot live on sporadic nourishment, no matter how delicious. Everyone seems to grow thin with me and their eyes grow black as hunters' eyes and search my face for sustenance. All my friends are dying of hunger, there is some basic dish I cannot offer, and you my love are almost as lean as the splendid wolf I must keep always at my door. My partner has learned to live with hunger.
Coping with and Addressing Your Partner's DID
Parts of my system have worked tirelessly to push her away, with many near-successes. She's in a relationship with someone who repeatedly leaves. Once she described it to me saying:. In the middle of your sentence, they turn to stare out the window and they're gone. You're talking to yourself. This kind of small abandonment is part of her daily life. The loneliness that results is bound to be all the more frustrating knowing that somewhere in that body is your partner, but you can't get to them.
I vacillate between struggle to alleviate that loneliness and feeling resentful of it. I can't make up for all the losses in my intimate relationships without incurring some of my own.
So my partner and I try to accept the limits of DID. Fortunately for me, she decided long ago that ten pounds of awesome does in fact weigh more than a pound of crazy. Follow me on Twitter!
Why did I have to attract this? I will never know most difficult and saddest three years of my life. You are left feeling abandoned all the time. So I'm dating someone with did, and they have 3 alters. But the system has a negative alter they call alpha that recently took control of the host and I'm pretty sure alpha is going to be in control for a while.
I feel helpless and I just don't know what to do. I'm currently dating someone with DID for about 2 months now, and they have 3 alters, but one of them is a negative alter he calls Alpha. One of his other alters warned me that if anyone were to mention anything about popularity, Alpha would take over the host.
Alpha took control of the host while he was riding the bus home today and I feel as If I can't do anything to help him, I talked to Alpha over text and I feel like the negative alter isn't going to let the host take control anytime soon, and I just don't know what to do.
Dating someone with dissociative identity disorder
Hey my name is Zamo, my lover suffers from DID, well it started back in he thought and probably still thinks he's possessed. Ever since it started he's been pushing me away telling me to stay the hell away from him for some reason. Then after some time, sometimes after a few hours sometimes after a few days or even a couple of months he's come back and tell me how sorry he is and how he can't live without me and how he's never loved anyone like he loves me.
Bc I love him i let him back in. He's practically the only person i trust with my life even though he's a ticking bomb.
Idk but something about that just makes fall even more in love w him. He's the only man I've ever loved. We're really too young for all of this. But I try in all ways possible.
Dissociative disorders - causes, symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, pathology
I'm even considering studying psychology to just understand more about this disorder. Currently we've separated and he's been pushing me away, ignoring my calls and driving himself crazy. I text him almost everyday to show him that I care since he won't answer my calls. He sent me a message just once last week Wednesday wishing me a good day and reminding me to take care of myself. I won't give up on him, i love him and he knows it.
I just don't know what do anymore and it's driving me insane pls help! I would seriously guard your own mental health. DID is a serious illness. Is the guyyou are with getting, therapy or even have the capacity to commit to a relationship with you?
Love has boundaries and limits. Please take care of yout mental health you are real danger of developing mental health issues or even PTSD symptoms if you are repeatedly exposed to the abandonement cycle.
It does eat away at your sense of worth. I dont know how long you have been in this relationship. I was emotionally starved for two years being with my ex partner who also had addiction issues.
He suggested he would cheat if i didnt meet his needs. He had narcissit qualities too as well as being manipulative and abusive. I pray your partner doesnt have these traits, but if he does i would say walk away now. My ex partner knew i loved him, inflew half way around the world to see him.
In the end he used the love i had for him to try to abuse and degrade me. I would say if you are being repeatedly abandoned its something you have to learn to live with as part of DID or walk away. Dont feel guilty for it you have yo love yourself more than the person you are with. I hope you make the right decision. Does anyone know anything about DID and using a polyamorous relationship to balance things out? I've found in my latest relationship that adopting a thrupple idea with my girlfriend seems to work for the system a 3 girl thrupple for me it really seems like everyone gets the right amount of attention just when they need it.
I'm close to two people with DID, and non-monogamy is a godsend.
I really feel like I'm struggling with having my needs met. I have mentioned to her about wanting a third person for me to feel fulfilled. But it scares her. Do you have any advice for me? I'm ethically non-monogamous, and am closely partnered with a system with OSDD the host of which is also ethically non-monogamous. I'd be careful about the idea that non-monogamy is a catch-all workaround - "Relationship Broken, Add People" almost never works.
Non-monogamy is HARDER than monogamy in a lot of ways, due to added complexity and running cross-grain to many cultural relationship norms. I'd encourage you to check out Poly. Land and More Than Two if you're seriously considering adopting an ethically non-monogamous relationship.
The latter has a Do's and Don'ts article that's particularly good. Could I maybe be some help? My email is lexeysheridanart yahoo. I have DID and I just recently found out last summer. I just started a new relationship but my alters keep trying to reach out to my ex bc they believe we are suppose to be with him.
I fight with them all day long and they dont like my currebt SO. We talk about getting married but they dont think she can handle us. I'm scared im making the wrong choices all the time and i dont know what to do or what im in control of anymore.
Jan 17, Living with dissociative identity disorder is just plain hard. It only makes sense to educate yourself. Not for your partner's benefit, but for yours. It's awfully hard to cope with something you don't understand (3 Ugly Truths about Dissociative Identity Disorder). Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder Is A Choice for You. May 22, Successfully maintaining a relationship with someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder) requires, first and foremost, an understanding of the many symptoms of their disorder. Through this understanding, you can better cope with and address their illness and help them seek out the treatment that they need, Author: Tyler Dabel. Aug 23, Today, I'm pausing my discussion of the contributing factors in the development of Dissociative Identity Disorder to talk about Dissociative Identity Disorder and ektaparksville.comting relationships may be the single biggest challenge I encounter living with DID.I see the havoc my disorder wreaks on my most intimate relationships and I feel helpless .
They drive her away and then i bring her back. I haven't told my current SO that they contacted him. I have blocked him a few times hoping my alters will get the clue to stop. I have one thats really mean when i get upset and switch. I need help to navigate all this. The few stories i read about people having and keeping relationships is hopeful but is it really fair to be with someone and make them suffer forever?
I needed to write this somewhere because for the past month I've been searching for a way to help my loved one. But failed to find any solution I met him 5 years ago, knew he had DID but still fell for him. He had a gf at the time so I stepped back and the moment he broke up with his gf I stepped back further causing him to think I abandoned him Because of that, he got with another girl for 3 years and when he decided he wants to be with me he broke off with her but it was pretty ugly as I thought he clarified everything the moment he got with me but after he went back to another country because of his studies, I found out he had to meet his ex to give her a closure.
The most dramatic part was, we had shared a lovely 2 and a half month together as a couple, only to be separated because of his concussion.
He got robbed when he was going to find his ex and because he couldn't contact me, I was frantically worried but honestly, I hated the fact that he was with his ex the whole time.
He told me another alter took over and then we didn't talk for a while and after a few days, his other alter told me that his memories are messed up and he thinks he is still with his ex. Thoughts on my mind at that time were pretty obvious which was just how I was not enough for him and he probably loved his ex more than me and what he told me were just lies.
Which was why he could leave me so easily 3 years ago and this wouldn't be an exception I believed those and it made our relationship even harder His other alter was all over his ex and I had to hear all those from his alter Being miles away from him, I wish I could have just went over and maybe try to make things right but knowing that I may actually be useless in the end Because of his DID, I too made myself think I have DID or more like I went all the way to isolate myself and created another character that could help me live and take care of myself.
Till today, I still miss him and recently I got to talk to his alter whom said that he is around but he isn't the one that I know His alter said that the him now is emotionless and that just made me felt guilty because I feel as if I made him this way If I never appeare he would never had to suffer like this.
But I really want to work things out with him I know I may deserve someone better or he may too but I really just want to be with him, support him and at least I just want to work things out with him during this tough period I really wish he would come back and patch things up with me.
I told his alter I would wait for him for 2 years but The want to be with him doesn't change but I'm scared that he'd just run away from me like before and I'm trying so hard to fight and survive but I don't know what to do I just want him back I just want him to be happy, healthy and safe Please come back Firstly, thank you so much for this post.
I was engaged to a woman who I now believe to have had DID. It's strange because I'd prior researched DID years before meeting her and when I was in a relationship the thought didn't even cross my mind that she may have had DID. I was raised in a Christian home and the belief was that people who suffer from DID are in actual fact possessed, a belief which I do not agree with in the slightest after being engaged to a sufferer.
I say sufferer but in actual fact I love the fact that she has this condition. I love her personalities and I naturally treated each of them differently. We called the child "little her" and I'm assuming the host "big her", she'd also switch to what I was lead to believe was our future children.
I would go with her into her flashbacks and help her escape from her traumatic experiences. She knew that her safe place was with me and when I would say certain words or play a specific song I had made she would switch back and come out of her flashback. She would have many seizures, she told me that she had been diagnosed with MND, which is a terminal illness, and that she didn't have long to live.
She suffered with anxiety and OCD. She said that was the reason why her body would shut down and she would have seizures due to an allergic reaction to her medication. We went through a lot together in such a short space of time and it's the most intense relationship I've ever been in. It was strange because I was able to communicate with her telepathically I know that sounds weird but it's true. She could hear everything I was thinking. Things changed when one time she came out of the bathroom and looked at me as though she didn't have a clue who I was.
I then had to explain to her what had happened over the past few months, big events that she had no recolection of.
She looked at me as though I was a stranger and she didn't trust me, that hurt beyond belief.
Love and DID: Sometimes More is Less
Because I didn't know exactly what was going on I started to get suspicious of her. A lot of her actions constantly disappearing, being off with me, starting arguments just so she could leave lead me to believe that there was something else going on.
I eventually found out that she was literally living a double life. She was already in a relationship and had children. I don't know who I was engaged to. This broke me. I still believe there's a part of her that loves me as I do her but for whatever reason that part is not allowed to take control.
Side note, because this is also quite interesting. She was able to tell the future and when I mentioned about me talking to her alters that I believed to be our children, well, strangely after parting I ended up getting into another relationship with a woman who was the same age as "little her" and her younger siblings had the exact same character traits, ages and even one of them has the same name as her alters that I believed to be our children.
Apr 29, Dissociative Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. Moderators: i'm dating someone with DID and need advice. by inlove&confused Mon Mar 07, pm. i'm a woman who is in a new relationship with someone who has DID. i just moved half way across California a week ago to be with her. I had. Dating someone with dissociative identity disorder can feel confusing because of all of the complicated emotions and brand new scenarios you find yourself in, but it can be deeply rewarding. And with a bit of mental adjusting and getting used to relationships can be very stable and long lasting. Aug 08, I am going to have to go Anonymous for this one as I am quite active on Quora and I want to protect my gf's identity as I use my real name. I will refer to my gf and her alters by alternative names to again protect her identity. My gf's birth name.
I couldn't make this up if I tried. I'm always going to love her, I feel as though she's my twin flame. I really bought into her past almost as though it was my own in a different lifetime. I hope she's okay and that she finds love because she truly deserves it. My life is better for the fact of meeting her.
For one, I'd still be living in the closet now if she didn't help me. She opened my eyes to so much and I thank every part of her. I don't really know why I wrote this I just needed to share my story with someone who might understand. How did you do it? How did you integrate yourself into your partners life like that and learn so much.
I want to do that. I want to help him and love them all. I need guidance. Hi there! Here's from another someone who's in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with DID about a year ago.
Every system works differently so all other people can do is offer you perspectives, but they don't need to apply to you. What I learned within that year: be open your SO but don't expect all of them to reciprocate immediately. It takes a lot of patience and you should always put your own needs and self love first to "endure" it. Some might never open up completely but that's not because they don't love you. It's just a difficult process. Accept that while you are in a relationship with your SO, the kind of relationship you will have might always depend on who is in control at the time.
Also keep in mind that you don't have to feel the same about all of them and that if this compromises your relationship in a way that hurts you, then you are always free to leave it. If you want to take this conversation further, leave a reply and I can give you my mail!
Hey I just came across this article and it completely blew my mind. I was diagnosed with DID from my psychiatrist about a year and a half ago but what they described was nothing like this at all. I was a significant other of someone with DID. In the beginning, she told me about having "alter egos" and the way people joke about that and use the word "crazy" so loosely, I thought she was joking.
She never sat me down and discussed it seriously or let me know what I was getting into. Because of that, I didn't understand why our relationship mimicked an EKG report. The up and down wore me out! It wasn't until I witnessed her going from child like to the mean version that I knew she really was battling DID.
I told her that I read up on it and that support groups and therapy is possible. Her response was that she thought she was beyond help. I told her that I had read stories about people who thought the same thing but once they got help they were good.
She still showed no interest.
I told her that I'd be there for her and go with her, she still made excuses. When we would get into it because she was having an alter it would drain me so much. I couldn't see staying with her if she refused to get help.
I feel bad because I know it's not her fault, it's the condition. It would start to affect my every day life and how I interacted with people. I couldn't let that happen. I will always love her. In addition to did she also suffers from bipolar disorder, anxiety, and PTSD. All of which she refused medication because she feels it's poison. I am so happy to have found this forum and I hope people are still responding because I would love a response to my situation.
Hi Holly, Your article is exactly what I've lived through. My now ex bf of 7 months he suffers from DID. I was with him through 2 major changes the first one 5 and half months was with an alter, then the last month and half was with the one born in the body.
They were both loving and caring and I grew to love them both deeply. They had said that they were the last two personalities left.
I was a judgement free place for them to communicate about the others and their feelings and it seems they appreciated it. But they never told me about this 3rd one. He laims he was caused my some severe head trauma at a very early age and he was not created by the person born in the body and is wired differently.
Is that even possible?
Well this third personality doesn't do relationships so we instantly we broken up. I tried to get to know him, we have went out and hung out. But he finally told me he doesnt find me sexually attractive. Im really heartbroken he is so cold and distant. I had to go over and give back keys and get my medicines and belongings from his place. Its crazy how one alter can totally turn a persons world upside down.
Its really been hard for me wanting the others but their gone now. People have been telling me to leave the whole situation alone. I know he is dealing with way more than me being gone for 5 years but he cares nothing about how it affects me.
Something you need to keep an open mind is that we truly believe we are monsters due to the serious extreme trauma we have endured. When his protector is telling you to keep away this is a part of him that is utterly terrified of love. For him to accept love he has to accept how damaged he is. Please remember you cannot rescue or change someone if they are not ready. Chaos and lack of love and support is all we grew up knowing and as a protector it feels safer to continue in an environment we know best or learned to survive.
His protector wants you to be safe and the only way he knows how is to push you away from himself. I want you to be safe and I have had my own abusive behaviours in a relationship please ensure your safety above all.
There is hope however but he needs to be able to process the trauma with a lot of help and support. The pain you speak of is the love we know best it is a reminder of the love we never had. At the end of the day like any relationship does his good outweigh the bad and can you live like this long term.
He will need to love an accept all these parts to love you. Even his darkest part needs the light and will take time to grow. Please ask him to get help and that you realize it will take time and he has all the time in the world. Do not threaten abandonment as you will have a war! Please make sure your safe! What are the signs of DID? Should I ask my bf if he has this? Hi, Abby. The signs of DID vary by person. Speaking only for me, I had time loss, blackouts, hearing voices inside my head, headaches, different handwriting, among other things.
Either way, I can't tell you to whether or not to ask him, but if you do decide to discuss his behavior, I wonder if asking him about his lack of communication would be a better option?
Another thought might be why do you think lack of communication equals a mental issues? All the best to you. I'm am an american living in Bangkok.
Mar 13, My girlfriend in high school had Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder). I know a lot of people think it's fake, I can't blame you, but I can verify it does ektaparksville.com: Francesca Donovan. My spouse has dissociative identity disorder (DID). In the DID world, I'm considered an "SO," which stands for significant other. There's not a lot of information available to understand DID (though recently there are more people talking about it) and even less information for or about the role of the significant other. Apr 08, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), also known as multiple personality disorder, is a condition in which a person has more than two identities, each demonstrating different behaviors, moods, and emotions. Someone with DID may feel other people living within them or may hear voices. Sometimes 94%.
I can speak and read Thai. However I met a Khmer guy Cambodian and fell in love with him here in Bangkok. I had never been in love before, I was not looking for love. Luckily I was also learning. Khmer Cambodian because he does not speak anything but that.
Even though I can write, and we live together, for three years this relationship has been the most beautiful,and most painful thing I had ever experienced.
It took a year for me to touch him in bed. Two weeks ago we had a big argument because he did not come home until 6am.
As I approached him, he started talking about himself in the third person. His name is Dara, but he saying "How could you do this to Dara? He would not tell me his name. I then realized I was talking to a female. She said, Dara is crying, and she comes when the family or I hurt him.
I had hurt him This was some sort of protector. She hates me. That was enough to crack this puzzle.