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I feel good about this new development, as I think it means I have more self-confidence, am less competitive, and just long for someone who understands the pros and cons of being creative for a living. This makes perfect sense to me; variety is one of my favorite things. But I do want common interests with a man, and the creative connection is now pretty important to me. Would an artistic, sensitive man ever want to date an artistic, sensitive woman? Or would we be incompatible because of these shared qualities? Most men ultimately gravitate toward women who make them feel sexy, funny and trusted.

The problem is whether your weaknesses will exacerbate each other. Are you both highly emotional? Are you both fanciful dreamers? Are you sometimes depressed or even bipolar?

Do You Need Common Interests To Have A Good Relationship (Friendship, Dating, or Marriage)?

Do you run from anything that seems stable because it seems boring? Do either of you have any practical skills? Will you ever be able to afford to raise children? Are either of you saving for retirement?

It sounds wonderful to have interests in common with a person we're dating, but we should be wary of putting too much stock in them-in the end, they could backfire- Find a Therapist. For women, exercise is the most desirable pastime, followed by photography, travel, art and dance. Politics ranked at number six, followed by outdoors interests at seven, cooking at eight and learning and music at numbers nine and 10 respectively. The 10 most . Dating, Love & Dating Ever wondered what hobbies and interests are most likely to catch the Aussie eye? After studying more than , Australian eHarmony member profiles, we found that personal growth, health and exercise, politics and travel are the top interests most likely to attract communication requests.

This is what I mean by compatibility. Compatibility is about respect, first and foremost.

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Runners and artists and surfers and actors and musicians and doglovers are often attracted to those who have the same hobbies. Except these hobbies are not or at least should not be the things upon which your marriage is based. Two intellects that are stubborn and busy will struggle. Your common interests may draw you together but they will not keep you together. Sounds about right to megetting married in just over a month to someone who I share a few common interests withbut mostly, our personalities gel.

She is very blunt, but she is honest and astute. And these are often not the same people. They might be the best guy for someone else.

How Important Are Common Interests in a Relationship?

I agree with this post whole-heartedly. I was with a wonderful man for years; we loved each other, shared values and were best friends. But we are both unrealistic, avoidant when it comes to financial issues and very sensitive. Evan, From your posts you have a wonderful wife. And with that being said, it makes me think my current relationship is befitting.

Dec 17, If you're serious about getting serious, without a doubt, you should. Interests are the most changeable thing about you. You will go through life picking up one interest for a while, then discarding it for another. Your tastes in music, books, foo. Common interests have NOTHING TO DO with compatibility. It's that simple. Runners and artists and surfers and actors and musicians and doglovers are often attracted to those who have the same hobbies. Except these hobbies are not (or at least should not be) the things upon which your marriage is based. Two doglovers that don't know how to.

Lol just the same with me im in love with a bore. Excellent response, Evan. Including your answer to comment 7. Frankly it seems pretty damn arrogant to live in constant uncertainty or just plain fear, of having compromised. Great response concerning settling.

I enjoy being with my guy. He makes me happy. I respect his character and feel he is a great communicator.

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Neither of us make a LOT of money. I would say we make about the same amount. We are both starting over in life and there is no magic wand.

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I am trying not to be a materialistic person and I will admit I have had a pretty comfy life before my divorce two years ago. I just want to be happy and realize that comes from the inside. I like the fact the you pointed out compatibility and commonalities are two different things. I feel character and integrity is most important.

Oh wow. I love this breakdown because it is so real.

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That was on point. Very well Said.

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I needed to hear this, and yep I need to stop analyzing. Whew can be exhausting. You expressed a life philosophy to be extended well beyond choosing a mate. Enjoy the scenery during the 2 minute longer drive, savor the first grapefruit you grab and having more time to eat it!

Enjoy the company of the woman or man that you almost always feel good around rather than fret about how much MORE fun you might be having if his shoulders were a little broader, she was a little less self-conscious, he was a bit mellower, she was more energized. Another thing about people who refuse to settle: they show an incredible lack of self-awareness because they fail to realize that others are settling for them in some, or perhaps even many, ways.

Chance, I was reminded of this one fact from my boyfriend.

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However I do think that we can settle on what we want. I love all other other things. Oh heck Jade, this sounds absolutely wrong. I am not sure that compatibility even has to include a shared language as a common interest. Interests are fine for dating but other things come higher up when you are living together. So many people are deluded by this and dismiss potential matches because they do not have enough common interests but this does not build the foundation of a healthy loving relationship - it all comes down to mutual respect, communication, core values etc.

So, how much should a person compromise then if they have the same values and beliefs but not much in common?

Dating common interests

People should compromise on certain things but long term compatitible and zeal have a lot to do with how well you interact together and what you do together as a couple. My ideal night is going out to listen to a live band or sit outside with beer and talk.

And guess what, we have all other other things in common you listed. Jade, you and your guy are NOT compatible. You like different lifestyles. People can be great people, supportive, kind, loving. I would say, you guys should break up amicably and go no contact until all the oxytocin is out of both your systems probably months.

And perhaps try to be friends then. It sound like you guys make better friends than partners. Sounds like you are not happy, and trying to find an answer that backs ups what you think.

At this point in my life, my main hobbies include meditating, doing yoga, a healing practice called Sat Nam Rasayan, improv and studying math and statistics. I once was interested in a man who was into cars and bike racing. I both agree and disagree with this. Sure, there are things we each do on our own, but there are also things we both love that we can do together and actually build our intimacy over!

I was curious to see what men think about the importance of having common interests in a relationship was, and when I turned to the sub I was not dissapointed. If you want to know, check out what they had to say. They don't always agree, but they all make interesting points that could definitely change the way you think about them when dating. But shared interests are not really important. What is important is that you appreciate each other's interests.

Shared interests can be a problem too because you feel you are competing with each other. So I don't ever use it as a criteria. Now I want a woman that doesn't really do anything I do, but which we can appreciate each other's mutual interests in the things we do engage in. If we really have a real passion in common, that's great, but by far it isn't necessary. Her understanding you and you understanding her. You can have a great experience with someone getting engaged about a subject even if the other person doesn't know the faintest thing or even is that hyped about it itself.

Physical attraction will only last so long. The right thing to do is both of you suck it up for the other. One of the fun parts of a relationship is introducing your partner to new stuff and having them introduce new activities and interests to you.

2. Preferences change with age.

I'm fine doing these things on my own or with friends. Relationships where you share everything and can't go out to do your own thing would be too exhausting for me.

Much more important is sharing similar values.

It certainly helps if you or your partner have a couple of core-interests that you share, but more important is that you share most top-level values. But overall it's really not important to have shared interests.

The main thing is that she shouldn't be critical of your hobbiesand vice versa with you.

that would

I play video games, she doesn't, and she completely does not care. Likewise, she loves cheeseball romantic comedies, and I don't, but I don't begrudge her for watching them.

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That being said, I think you should have enough in common that you can do at least some things together, and socialize with others doing other hobbies.

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