Congratulate, what american guy dating a turkish girl with you agree
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By chica , July 22, in Dating and Romantic Relationships. Merhaba everyone I am new to the forums. I am dating a man from Adana and we have been dating a little over a month. He seems very sweet, but he is also very hard-working Sometimes we have communication problems because he speaks English fairly well, but oftentimes he comes across something that he doesn't know how to say.
Hi and welcome to our forum.
It's hard to know how to reply as we mostly deal with foreign females asking for advise. If she want's to pay her way when you go out and it seems that she does'nt need or want to be showered with gifts the answer is to go along with it. You say you have only been hanging out for a week and she goes back to Turkey in about 2 months as you have more than an interest in her, you might find you may scare her off if you start buying her expensive things.
Culture can be complex here and a lot will depend on how she was brought up and what her family are like. Just take it easy, get to know each other and if you feel strongly about her when she leaves you could buy her something nice to remember you by.
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It may well be that your relationship might go on or once you get to know each other that the relationship flounders in time as it can do in any relationship when you find out the person isn't exactly right for you. Good luck and hope you let us know how it pans out. They do tend to be fast movers when they have made their minds up. Never bought any gold. Some roses on valentines day. Can't think of any other presents at all.
We had no dosh at that time. And it was 21 years ago when we started. As this girl has come to the US by herself to work for the summer, I guess she must have a certain degree of independence, which her family is OK with? I would say just play it by ear for now, and as others have said, try to learn about Turkish culture in the meantime!
Best of luck! Thanks for the input everyone. I have asked her a little about her family, but do not want to make her too homesick. It seems like she does have a lot of independence, which I think is a really good thing.
It was common for a man and a woman to hook up in a bar, as Turkish night life is indifference with the West. Also read: Signs He Only Sees You As A Friend; Signs You Are Falling in Love; Turkish General Dating Rules. Indeed, here are more dating culture in Turkey . Sep 26, Hello all,I recently started dating a Turkish girl (I live in the United States and she is here working for the summer). I am extremely interested in her so far, it has only been about a week of us hanging out, but I think she is very interested in me as well. I just want to know some of the customs and best practices for dating a Turkish woman.4/4(4). American girl dating a turkish guy - How to get a good woman. It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman. Men looking for a man - Women looking for a woman. Rich man looking for older woman & younger woman. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself.
We hung out once again last night, and we're planning on doing the same tonight. I think I will continue to play it by ear and treat her with respect like I would any other woman. She said in her broken English that I love "for the next two months, you are mine. Thanks again for the feedback. Welcome to the forum from me too Thomas. Like the others have said just take it slowly and play it by ear. But even though Im from the UK if any man bought me gold or expensive gifts in the 1st week of being together I would go running!!
Enjoy your next 2 months together and Im sure somewhere in those months the 'what next' talk will come up. Love Sam x. Hello all-Since I last posted on here a lot has changed with my Turkish girlfriend and I.
We are planning on staying together despite the distance between us. She has one year left in school and I am already saving my money for a trip to Turkey-and I'm even kicking around the idea of moving to the country for a little while. My plan would be to find a job or continue my education in Turkey and eventually move back to the United States this is where she would like to eventually end up. I don't know that I'm necessarily looking for advice-but if you all have any, I'm definitely all ears.
This is more of an ate and proclamation that Turkish women the one that I know are simply amazing. It's great to hear from you again and glad to hear your romance is going well. We have a few male members who are married to Turkish woman who will I'm sure agree with you last comment. If you did move over to Turkey which city would you be thinking of living in. I don't know what you do for a living so don't know how easy it would be to get a good job. You will of course need to get a Work Permit which doesn't take long to get and is quite an easy thing to do.
But I have to say that the hard part will be finding an employer who will apply for one for you. Maybe you can find an American Company that trades with Turkey and get an in house transfer. The other thing is if you don't speak Turkish that could be against you. Maybe your girlfriend could search out large International companies who you could contact. I can't comment on you continuing your education in Turkey as I don't really have the knowledge but there are other members who do, and hope they will advise you.
Thanks for the advice. A little bit more about me might help the suggestion process: I have a bachelor's degree in English writing -so I'm definitely thinking of getting a certificate so I can teach English in Turkey.
My girlfriend is attending university in Izmir egeher family is from Samsun. I think Izmir is the city in question, I'm not sure what surrounding cities would be close enough for me to work in and commute to.
I have a good enough job right now as a retail sales manager, but I'm not using my degree in any way-and most importantly, I'm not with my girlfriend. I don't really have any reservations about moving to turkey aside from finding gainful employment. Welcome back Thomas! Yes, Ege university is in Izmir, so this is where you'd be wanting to find work to be close to your girlfriend. As Abi said, it's difficult to get a work permit, and you wouldn't be allowed to do a job that a Turk could do.
Teaching English is your best bet, but even that is fraught with problems as many of the threads on this forum will show. Does your girlfriend's family know of your plans to marry?
Has she given you any feedback about that?
American guy dating a turkish girl
Just wondering. Good luck in all you plan to achieve! We have another American Member who goes under the name of Quinn, she has just come over from the States and has starting teaching in Izmir. I'm not sure if she will see your post as she doesn't come on the forum everday since she has started working. I will definitely PM "Quinn" to see if she has advice for me. I think that is what I will end up trying to do teach english in Izmir.
Meral-her parents are not yet aware of our situation, I know that I must convert to Islam in order for us to marry no problem for me. She thinks that her parents will be accepting of us, but she wants to wait for a good time to tell them. The only trouble will be with her brother who is very protective of her-but I know most older brothers are this way Turkish or not.
Thomas, the protection of Turkish girls by their older brothers in Turkey encompasses a lot more than your understanding of the same thing in Western countries. While the family may have afforded their daughter a good deal of independence, when it comes to marriage, traditional values may prevail. Looks like she may be hesitating to broach the subject with them. It would be helpful for you to read up on Turkish culture and customs.
Like Clinky, I am wondering whether she actually told you that you should convert to Islam, or indicated that's what her family would at least expect of you? I'm hoping things will turn out well for both of you.
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That was all very helpful! I could kind of see family values in the movie "My Father My son" I can't remember the name in Turkish! It was interesting to see how incredibly close the family was and how important family is in Turkey. My boyfriend also told me that at Turkish weddings, the man has to drink a cup of coffee after the bride pours salt in it Supposedly it symbolizes how the man should respect the woman in the marriage and not complain.
I quite liked that :DAlso, he said that Turkish men generally respect women for everything that they do: cooking, cleaning, and sometimes having a job. I am crafty and take care of myself laundry, cooking, etc. He said that he is expected to give a lot of gifts when he returns home to Turkey for a short vacation. He is also used to spending a lot of money.
here is my experience of dating Turkish man as a foreigner (I am Southest Asian) 1. He is alittle bit controlling over you. Extremely jealous and always want to dominate you. When he says no you are not allowed to do that. It's better you do not d. Aug 05, Still, it helps build the picture of what has made him the person he is.A member of the forum I run for girls with Turkish partners (sorry for the blatant plug!) would probably be able to answer a lot of your questions from her experience as an American woman who met and married a Turkish man.3/5(1). Most members get American Guy Dating A Turkish Girl more action within two weeks and signing up takes less than 60 seconds. Try it free now. Try it free now. Once you start to use MeetBang, you'll see American Guy Dating A Turkish Girl effortless it is to find horny girls and guys less than American Guy Dating A Turkish Girl 2 miles away from you/
I, on the other hand, am frugal and save a lot. If I really want something, I buy it, but I think about it a lot first! Where I live in Turkey the coffee isn't drunk at the wedding it happens before when the families meet to discuss a possible engagement.
The girl will make coffee to impress the propective inlaws, she can sometimes put salt into the boyfriends coffee either to test him or to show that she isn't in agreement with the engagement. In some cases if the girl makes the coffee badly she can be turned down as a perspective bride. Yes, family is very important in Turkey and I've found that the bond between mother and son is usually very strong.
Gifts, I often wonder if its just about showing how well they have done in their new country. Unfortunately, the giving of gifts can get out of hand but that is a whole different topic.
Oh my goodness. That coffee we had. I thought it tasted strange. So mrs fil was trying to tell me something, perhaps subconsciously. She said it was because she is culinary challenged.
To find out after all these years I think in your case if it wasn't her culinarily skills at fault she was testing you to see if you were made of sterner stuff, You obviously passed the test :.
Hi ChicaI'm a little late adding to your thread, as I just got back from Turkey to Uk last week, and have been settling back home and catching up. I'm a relative newly wed to some of the others here - I've been married to my Turkish hubby for 5 years. Giving you my take on 'Turkish Culture' would probably take ages, and probably be useless to you. In the end, you make your own culture in a relationship. The generational differences you wonder about are more apparent in some areas than others.
There's a good chance that if you visit a village, you'll see that most girls move from their mother's house to their marital home - or maybe even to their mother-in-law's house - and they would expect to lead quite a domesticated life of housekeeping and visiting family. As someone has said already, there's no substitute for actually going over there for a visit when the time is right.
Visiting your boyfriend's family may give you an insight into the sort of family roles that he envisages - but then again, having expanded his own horizons, he may choose to live differently to them! Still, it helps build the picture of what has made him the person he is. A member of the forum I run for girls with Turkish partners sorry for the blatant plug! She's over in Turkey at the moment, having just had their Turkish wedding and staying with the family for the first time. You could either look out for her on the site see the link below in my signatureor I could put you in touch with each other if you like.
But don't feel obliged - just if you think it might help. I wish you luck in your relationship. I know many girls who having met a Turkish man have a real thirst and curiosity for all things Turkish - but in the end, I think it's good to see faults and pitfalls as well as seeing the good things.
Every culture has its good and bad cts. Hope everything works out well for you. Wow, you've asked so many questions that it's difficult to know where to start.
20 Dating Culture in Turkey - Relationships - Love Custom
Firstly, what I would say to you is, try to keep your feet on the ground and let things take their natural course. You've only been dating this man for just over a month, and as he works such long hours - and there is a language barrier - you'd do much better in getting to know him as a person by going out with him and sharing time together, than by trying to find out every nook and cranny about his culture - when he doesn't even intend on living in Turkey - and is hoping to settle in the US.
I know it's natural to want to discover a little about someone's culture when you start dating someone from a different country, but only having known him for a month I get the impression you're focusing too much on his background, almost as though you're banking on spending the rest of your life with him. It seems terribly quick to want to know all the ins and outs of his culture at such an early stage. I know you say there's a lnaguage barrier between you both, but really, the onus is on him to learn your language - he's the one who wants to settle in the US out of interest, what is he reading for his PhD and what language is he studying it in?
It's also him who needs to learn about your culture and how he'll have to adapt to living and settling in the US.
Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting To Date A Turkish Girl
Of course, if your relationship continues, deepens and becomes serious, then you will want to know about his family background etc - just as you would any man. But trying to learn about this man by studying Turkish culture is pointless: he's an individual and you can't lump all Turkish men in the same boat. Some are very Westernised and some are not; some are very liberal and some are very staunch.
And with all due respect, finding out how to make good Turkish coffee is not going to make him fall in love with you - he'll just think you're a good coffee maker.
I can tell you now that my partner who I've been with for 7 years doesn't rate my Turkish cooking skills, but he still loves me despite that, and he still respects me. When you said your boyfriend told you that Turkish men respect women who cook, clean and go out to work, I'm inclined to think it's more to do with them liking them to clean and cook, than respecting them for it. So if you don't mind me saying this, I'd be a little wary of that statement of his.
It sounds like he's letting you know now what he expects from a wife, and he's sweetening it by saying it's a 'respect thing'. Regarding him paying for you when you go out on dates, all men the world over usually like and expect to pay. There can be instances where the woman does pay her share, but as a general rule the man likes to foot the bill.
So I don't see that as strange or abnormal. In certain circumstances a couple may split the bill, but usually it's the man who pays, so you should stop concerning yourself with that. Besides, he has no qualms about paying, so why are you so worried about it? Just enjoy it. He wants to pay - so let him. It's his choice. As for him buying you an evil eye, shawl and a shirt for your birthday - I don't think that's excessive. Incidentally, where did he purchase them from? Do you have a Turkish centre near you?
I did notice you saying that you felt he was trying to 'buy you' with gifts - what made you feel that? If you sensed he gave them to you with ulterior motives, it might be worth you delving more into what he actually wants from you. There's no suggestion at this stage that he's after a green card by marrying a US citizen, but it's something you need to be made aware of.
Ultimately, if I were you I would just enjoy dating this man and getting to know him, and allow the relationship to progress naturally Just enjoy your time together and see how things go - it's very, very early days, still Personally I'd never go running after a man to do all things Turkish for him and I've never learnt how to make Turkish coffee although we do go to our neighbours most mornings during the summer for a cup.
Just be yourself and do things you're comfortable with. Too many young women like to rush around and do all things for their man instead of sharing work and then later they are not happy when he has got used to this way of life being waited on hand and foot. Anyway, as Strawberry says, it's early days so take it easy.
Hello Chica, after reading your post earlier this morning I have been thinking all day what other advise to give you but I cant think of anything as everybody have covered it all above.
As Strawberry and many others have said dont go doing things for him that make you uncomfortable. I think he is doing all these things for you as he is comfortable with them and he is just being himself so you should do the same aswell and stop worrying about culture.
When I first met my husband 5 years ago I was the same as you and I was so worried about the culture and how would I cope to changes that it made the start of our relationship very stressful for me when I should have been enjoying the early days and taking each day as it came. You have only been seeing each other for a month, would you really worry about an american guy being to much of a gentleman if you were in a relationship with him?
I dont think so. This turk have clearly told you his plans are to stay in the US after he finishes his studies and he sounds pretty westernised to me, well he must be to survive in a country like America. The only thing I will say is to always communicate with each other, if you have a problem with him tell him and make sure he does the same with you.
Even if there is a language barrier be patient and dont try finishing sentences for him or thinking they mean 1 thing when he means another. When I first met my husband he didnt speak alot of english and we had the same problem but slowly slowly we sorted that problem. I hope it goes well for you, just relax and enjoy the relationship. Lots of love Samantha. I have to agree with many of the above posters, too, chica!
My first advice for the coming months: patience. If he says something that makes you feel controlled, in Turkish culture it could be considered a kind of protection. It's up to you to decide if you feel controlled For example, I don't wear miniskirts on the street anymore even in Istanbul. But when I did dress that way once he left the house first that day I realized that yeah, people stare at me and sometimes try to talk to you.
And hey, it makes sense to dress more conservatively-I live here now, and I have a boyfriend. Why the hell should I be flaunting my legs downtown?! More recently, I have expressed desires to travel to Vienna in Sepetmber a place where I have lots of friends. Because his family would see this as me "not settling down" and in general "being somewhat trampy" we have two options: I don't go, or he lies to them.
Which do you think he prefers? Anyway use these example as a starting point for what I mean: be patient and try to understand his POV when push comes to shove. I'm also independent, and being with a Turkish guy I don't understand Atayavie, why you visiting friends in Vienna would be seen as not settling down and somewhat trampy?
People I know regularly visit people in other countries with no negative comments. This definitely smack of control. You are only living with this guy, you're not married or engaged so what's the problem? I was also thinking the same Sunny. I went to Holland last year to visit a friend, couldnt take Harun with me as he didnt have a visa but nobody in his family thought it was wrong.
Atayavie, did your boyfriend say his family think it is not showing that you want to settle down and trampy? What is meant by trampy aswell, I dont see anything about visiting friends and another country trampy!
Love Sam xxx ps I really dont mean to cause offence or sound judgemental. Visiting Vienna to see friends is not something that anyone should make you feel odd about.
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