Sorry, that dating for 7 years and no proposal more than
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He tells me we can go to Vegas or the courthouse to get married. He said we can have my parents be witnesses. That's also the thing with our relationship is that my parents see it as "playing house. We share our finances and live together. We are pretty much married but just not legally. I want that full commitment. Like u said it's easy to just get up and walk away.
Share Facebook. In a relationship for 8 years and no marriage proposal? Add Opinion. Your boyfriend is clueless when it comes to knowing women. If you want to stay with him, you need to resolve this now. You will continue building resentment if you keep going the way it is.
I doubt your guy will ever marry you. The way he just kind of throws you to the side when you want to talk about it tells me it's never going to happen.
Someday is long past at 8 years. If he asks to be engaged, make sure there is a wedding date attached or he'll just be engaged to you. Same as not being married. I came from divorced parents and I guarantee that mine was worse than his. I've been married twice so it hasn't effected me. You can't always get the dream you had as a young girl, but you can get married rather cheaply if you are creative. Force his hand or accept what you have.
You have a no commitment relationship. It's easy to walk away from it. Some guys like it that way. Good luck. Your guy needs to learn about women and be more supportive of you. He needs to listen to what you have to say even if he doesn't like it. He needs to have the conversation you want to have. Instead he keeps proving that he doesn't respect you enough to be serious about a very serious thing to the woman he claims to love.
Show All Show Less. Wow, I just love when simps think they know something. Good luck with that, only an idiot gets married if they are male. SaramadHill Xper 5. You're not wrong, 8 years is a freaking long time.
Weddings are expensive by the way. Me and my girl are currently paying for one, actually You should have a serious talk with him, but try not to make him feel cornered. Maybe he has commitment issues? Maybe marriage isn't as big a deal to him as it should be? Perhaps he's scared you'd both divorce and he would lose money or assets, who knows But you've waited long enough. Your life will not last forever so at least get an honest answer out of him Why do you need a big dramatic proposal?
Maybe he's not joking and that's just how he proposes. Maybe he doesn't see the act of getting married as a huge money spinning affair and wants to just marry you in the simplest way. Best is to talk to him instead of just laughing it off. Thing is, if it were about money, a trauma or anything else, he would have mentioned it already in the long EIGHT years you've been together, no?
In two years I'm already slightly bugged, can't imagine eight years in suspense. Perhaps he doesn't think that both of you are financially ready yet. Maybe he wants to afford the wedding before you make that step. Sign Up Now! Sort Girls First Guys First. Xper 6. Quote: "He then just says will u marry me? But apparently it is not what you want. As in, "I just have always dreamed of a nice proposal.
Whatever you have said, he seems to not think it's critical - it's not such a big deal. Instead of laughing it off, you need to be direct and clear. For example, take hold of his arms firmly put your face right in front of his, and say "I want a nice proposal! It's new era. What's going to happen that your going to pressure the guy and he is you g to end up leaving you. I know I don't want to. If you both have been together for 8 years and your happy with him, you both should have already been married by now.
Nowadays marriage have a bad name The divorce rates are high and men will use that as an excuse to not be married or have fears of tying the not. I would plan ahead for the marriage by saving when you talk to him about this subject but I recommend counseling first if he starts to get upset. That you can't afford much suggests that for the sake of his own pride, he wants to be in a better position to be a husband and provider before he takes the plunge. That you are nagging him to do it already is only going to put him off doing it even more.
Sounds like you are in love with the idea of the wedding and marriage more than the reality of it. He may also be smart and testing you. First tell her no wedding and make a shitty proposal, if she goes nuts then don't marry her because she is actually crazy. Here's what you do. Offer to do a pre-nup and tell him some max budget limit for the wedding.
It's only a day after all. Daltron Xper 5. You could try proposing, but make sure he knows you don't intend to leave him and he might finally decide to marry you. It's hard to know if he is sincere over a message board so use your judgement. IEat70sBush Xper 6. If he's smart he is joking. Never understood why any guy would want to sign such a contract.
Of course every female dreams of marriage, it's a gravy train to her if the relationship ever goes south. Maybe switch it up and one of those times he asks you "will you marry me?
He's been smart so far. Yeah, something just doesn't add up with that picture.
I think you're putting yourself in the "girlfriend forever zone". Like you do need to have a serious convo with him and let him know how you feel.
Just laughing it off when he non-chalantly proposes will not make him take the issue seriously. BanterBlitz Xper 5. I don't think he really wants to get married. In a sense he is just stringing you along. If marriage is that important to you, you have to give him an ultimatum; marry me or break up. Otherwise nothing will ever happen. Blake Xper 7. Well don't worry because under common law you can leave and still steal half his shit it starts at 9 years.
So you've got one more year to go. Common law isn't recognized anywhere there's a lot of rich men lol.
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Well, you need to drop your Walt Disney syndrome, "princess". It isn't going to happen that way; he sees it as a rather practical arrangement. Justinaveragedude Xper 7. Next time he asks, just say "it's about damn time" and see if he is serious.
IAmBlueThunder Xper 6. Your expectations are too big and uncalled for in my opinion. Enrique Xper 3. Just tell him u want to marry him that's it. Related myTakes. Show All. Raw Milk: Why it's amazing.
The One That Got Away Fear and Love. Simple, affordable and effective toiletry products. I even told him mos ago just get me a fake ring idc you can get me something better down the road.
Jun 14, Meanwhile, my husband was enjoying our dating relationship, felt no urge to get married right then, and only looked at me blankly when I tried to describe my feelings about the situation. So, I did the thing that I never should have done. Without even really realizing it, I responded with pressure. For the past 7 or 8 years, you have barely been together, but where is the relationship going? You are ready to move the relationship forward, but he doesn't seem to be giving the idea of marriage much thought. With 7 years still no proposal, you may be wondering just what you should do. That's the tricky topic we're covering today! Dec 28, My cousin has been dating her boyfriend for 6 years, she wants to get married. They have talked about getting married for years now, but he never pops the question. At this point, I feel so terrible for her because she has just purchased a home with him, .
He talks about the future, but still no proposal. Saying that out loud is so embarrassing!!! I love him so much but love myself more. Well with so many women nowadays that are so very picky and looking for Mr. Perfect which definitely has a lot to do with it today, especially when many women now want men with a lot of money. I agree with you to a point. But there are also a lot of women out there who have made their money and take care of their own, they want a man who is just as secure.
Just saying, a picky woman is one who knows herself and her worth. Nothing wrong with that. This is a really useful post. I have been going through the same thing for 7 years. Promises that never took place. Him disappearing on me for weeks. Why on earth would someone non stop tell you to move in with them and at the same time within a couple of days say it was just a thought.
Over the years I have changed as a person. Its like I do not care anymore. And I want to leave him, but it is hard. Why didnt he tell me from the beginning he was just fooling around. I mean we are both over Why must I put in all the effort all the time. Then suddenly he will make a joke about proposing and once again he will say oh it was merely a thought. So now I have resorted telling him I will not move in with him anymore and no marriage as well.
He wants to stay single to see others behind my back, then go ahead. Still, I find it hard to walk away. And in the end women like us are mentally screwed.
I have decided once this is done if it is ever going to get there, I do not want to date ever again. Well at least reading these, I dont feel so dumb. Others are in the same boat. He knows I want to get married and just goes silent when I try to talk about it. The most he says is, he just doesnt want to get married again. Wont give a reason.
Hard to leave after so many years, what seem to be wasted years. I talk about moving, and he doesnt even suggest living together. I guess I know what I need to do, but its so hard. Why Marriage so freaking important to tell everyone they are committed to someone.
The love and loyalty you share with someone is 1st priority. But if it is important to one or both, then you need to respect that and recognize the importance. The thing is Mandy, women give. They put in financially eyc. They have their own homes too. So taking care of 2 households because he wont move in or let you move in is financially destructive for women. So is feeling used. And once there is a break up, he is secure as she maintained a lot whereas she lost so much money especially if over And you cannot claim it back.
I suggest to women ja, date him but pay only your share nothing else. You be amazed how many men then walk away.
Been With Your Boyfriend For 5 Years and He Still Hasn't Proposed
In my case, marriage is important. If one of us were to die tomorrow, we know each others wishes, know who gets what, we know what we want to happen. But we have ZERO say in it legally. I was very open in the beginning advising him I will like to be married again. I was previously married for 8 years and it ended. The interesting thing about this situation is he has three kids 4,7 and 25 by three different women. I have a child of my own 13 and do not want anymore children.
All of his relationships have been anywhere from years with no marriages. Keep in mind this man is 48 and I am Just need some advice. Thank you so much for this article! I have bin with my man for almost 10 years I have had to watch my friends and family one by one walk down the aisle and it has caused me a great deal of pain. We lived together for 5 years, and were together for 6 years.
In summer I said: 6 months to think - lets get married or lets break up. One year after break up he wrote me letters, we talked In spetember he proposed to our common friend and in he married her!!! We broke up a few years back due to disagreements of marriage and when. We got back together with a compromise but 3 years later still nothing. Reason being we need to be financially ready- meaning a house.
We ended up moving for my job and getting close to buying a house, only to have him relocate for a promotion in his job.
What hurts is he has to think about it. Please help! Been waiting since year 3. He had me pick out a really affordable ring. We got pregnant which was fine at the time because we were getting engaged anyhow. It never happened. If I could go back I would have left when I found out. I feel all alone like a single mom except for finances. At baby shower I felt ridiculous without that ring and him being there.
At the babies birth I debated not having him there. I ended up giving the baby his last name. Huge mistake. Our son is almost two now. Since his birth I have no stopped asking him when when when. He looks at me quietly. He insists we are getting married.
Nothing ever happens. Last year his aunts embarrassed me putting me on he spot calling me his wife and asking when the wedding was. Our son was a few months then. And the year before I was there 7 months pregnant! Why is he even with me? Thousands of dollars.
This would seem fine if A. If you want me to be a true single mom then get out of my house!
So how long is too long?
I feel so stuck here. I feel used! Like he used my body as a baby factory for him! Forget women using men and trapping them by getting pregnant. This is the other way around! He insists he will prooose by then. He also said he would propose back at my bday in September.
We are both 34 and he wants another baby! I said no sorry no way it will happen. I found this article because I am searching for answers. I am dating my biyfriends for almost 1. We talked about concerns we have. Sounds like we both want to get married and have a family, he defiantly wants to have kids.
The key here is my age! I am almost 40, so the time is very critical for having kids he states he wants kids for sure! The longer we date the less chance I can get pregnant! I mentioned few times but he seems no rush!
Any suggestions? We began our relationship at a rocky time in our lives, when we both had just graduated college and the economy was horrendous. We had been trying to move in together for a few years prior.
We are both perfectly content with our relationship. Marriage is not a priority for me. Who says you have to be married to be committed? Who says you have to marry at all? At our 3rd year he proposed to me and then 4 months later he called the wedding off.
You are sooo right! I think someone knows if it will work out barring any major mental issues within 1. If a man or woman is unable to commit at this point, it is time to let them go. They are trash, and KNOW they are trash. Most people I know who are married, said they could tell within 6 months if this was the right person or not. Relationships are built on trust, respect, and shared life goals and interests.
If someone really loves you- they commit. I see this more in women then men, but it happens to them too. A bad boy will always remain a bad boy. Anyhow, I was miserable without him. Hi Ginger, I have been dating a guy from my senior year in high school and its will be 10 years this summer.
Every time I talk about or even mention marriage he seems to ignore me. We live together since our early twenties and things seem to be going along but now I am looking for more. Omg I know the feeling!!! No commitment, no security, no future! I kick myself all the time. Thanks for your honest and insightful post.
His primary relationship is with his older sister, and his future plans include family, but not me. If I really want a commitment, then I need to make my timeline clear and stick to it.
I am curious as to what you finally ended up doing and what your situation is now. We truly love each other and vaguely talk of spending our lives together, however things have reached a point where they are comfortable for him and I do not see much of an effort on his part to take things to the next level.
It seems that there is always something that deviates his focus from moving forward. He has his business, an older sister who spends a couple of days a every week at his place, his hobbies and activities that keep him busy, and his dog who is like his second child.
He thinks that the longer we wait, the better our chance of staying together forever. I just wish I had some idea of when he thinks he will be ready. I know that he is the type of person who would be fine without someone special in his life.
Dating for 7 years and no proposal
He has made that clear a few times. Like I said, he has a fulfilling life even without me. However, I would very much like someone to share my life with me more than just on the weekends.
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Hi Meg I am in the same position that you are I have been in a 5 year realtionship with a man who says he wants to commit but here I am still waiting. I actually broke up with him and he wanted to make things work and said things would change that was over a year ago!
It is so difficult when you truly love someome For five years I have been that weekend girlfriend too! Hope this reaches you and let me know how you are doing!
Hi i am in a similar situation. I have two young sons who adore him. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
Notify me of new posts by email. Why is this harmful? Ladies, before you get too excited let me tell you two things about those success stories: 1.
The women involved went through hell for years. The women eventually gave their men a choice: marry me or lose me. Click Here for Dating Help My advice is to choose option two and break up. How long does it take a man to know he wants to marry you? What if he just needs more time? So how long is too long? To get answers to your specific questions or scenarios, click here. Buy my book on Amazon! You might also like How to know if a girl likes you? Part 1.
How to know if a guy likes me?
I have been in a relationship for 8 years and I am not engaged. We are overall happy, but it bugs me. My boyfriend came from divorced parents. We talk about being married and he calls me his wife in public etc. He tells me all the time that he's going to marry me someday. I ask him then y don't u. Jul 01, There's no rulebook or strategy when it comes to dating someone and knowing the right time to finally pop the question and seal the deal with them. May 16, His mom even asked on multiple occasions and he said we were getting married. He promised end of Still no proposal. Best relationship I've ever been in. Supportive, positive, encouraging, loves to travel, we laugh 24/7, etc. He promises we are getting married and having children, but still no proposal.
I have no advice looking for some myself goodluck and keep your head high Reply. All, My apologies for being so self centered and not commenting on the issue at hand.
What did you do? I am in similar situation what have you decided? Good for you!
Just that is necessary. An interesting theme, I will participate.01.01.2020|Reply
I very much would like to talk to you.29.12.2019|Reply